


The First Day of Christmas (or, Ten Pounds of Ravioli and Two Candy Canes)

by Kamylove



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Anilingus, Christmas, Christmas Presents, Cuddling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Holiday, It tried to be a PWP but wandered into a plot by accident, M/M, There's still sex though don't worry, katlaska, sap, so much cuddling, they're so in love it's ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 12:51:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17264573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamylove/pseuds/Kamylove
Summary: It's a small miracle that they can be together for Christmas, and Katya doesn't plan to waste a minute.





	The First Day of Christmas (or, Ten Pounds of Ravioli and Two Candy Canes)

**Author's Note:**

> How I spent my vacation: with this belated Christmassy thing. It's still New Year's Day where I am, so I'm getting it in just under the wire.
> 
> I can't write them unhappy. I just can't. Takes place a few years after my story [They Don't Love You Like I Love You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16087430/chapters/37570331), but I wouldn't call it a sequel.

It's a small miracle that they can be together for Christmas. It took some juggling and a lot of airfare, but they've got three days, and Katya doesn't plan to waste a minute. 

She arrives at the hotel near her parents' house the morning of Christmas Eve, and goes straight to the mall where she worked in high school to buy all the tackiest decorations left on sale. She hums Alaska's Christmas Queens songs (because Alaska's are the best ones, obviously) while she hangs the most ostentatious display she can hang, without incurring a fee from the hotel.

She goes to see her family for dinner, and uses their wrapping paper, because she _knew_ she'd forgotten something at the mall, and steals a big roll of ribbon. She's buzzing with energy and dominating conversation, but they're used to that. Still, she leaves early; she's driving even herself crazy, and to be honest she's a bit lonely, so she goes back to their suite to wait for Alaska's late flight. 

Once there she ends up redoing all the decorations, because she's having one of those can't sit still days, and she texts Alaska a long, giddy stream of holiday and heart emojis that she'll see when her plane lands.

Then she watches _Rudolph_ , and sends Alaska, one line at a time, The Absolutely True Love Story of Yukon Cornelius and The Abominable, wherein Yukon is a bottom and loves toothy blowjobs, and it's a myth that the Abominable had _all_ his teeth pulled which is a damn good thing for Yukon, and falling off the cliff is an orgasm metaphor, and ...

"Making me laugh like that in the fucking airport!" Alaska texts finally.

"YOU'RE HERE YOU'RE HERE YOU'RE HERE," Katya texts back.

"Renting the car right now, please put your masterpiece on pause so I can pretend to be a normal human being."

"I'M A LITTLE HYPERACTIVE TODAY," Katya replies. 

Alaska sends a heart and a brain. Katya sends a heart and a snake, and then gets a bit carried away with eggplants and a whole lot of peaches.

<><><>

Katya had texted the key code in the middle of her gay Christmas special text storm, so Alaska punches it in without knocking and wheels her bags inside.

She barely gets out, "Merry Christmas, bitch," before there's an unholy shriek, a door opening, and a whirl of color barreling towards her.

This is not a new thing, so Alaska braces herself while Katya gloms onto her with arms around her neck and legs around her waist. _("Maybe try that with a little less momentum next time," Alaska had said, right after landing on her tailbone the first time Katya bowled her over.)_

Thankfully, Alaska's able to lean back into the wall, instead of falling on the floor. She wraps her arms around Katya to help keep her where she is.

"Hi," Katya says right in Alaska's face. "I've been waiting _forever_."

"My plane landed early!" Alaska says.

 _"Forever,"_ Katya insists. She grins. "You look yummy."

"You still have toothpaste on your chin, but I really mi-" And Katya cuts her off with a tongue practically down her throat.

"Missed you anyway," Alaska finishes when she can get a word in.

Katya squeals, a little too close to Alaska's ear, and then apologizes. "I'm just so happy to see you!" Katya says, like she always does.

"I love that you're so happy to see me," Alaska says, like she always does. They both know Alaska's just as happy, if better able to contain herself. "Now get down. I'm fucking exhausted, and I'm about to drop you." 

Katya doesn't lower herself to the floor so much as jump, and then she's grabbing Alaska's hand and pulling her further inside. "Look what I did!" she says.

Alaska follows with a grin, and the grin turns into a shocked bark of laughter as she looks around. The space is full of red and green streamers and garlands, paper stockings and snowflakes and snowmen--one of them labeled "Abominable, A Top (not an accurate likeness)"--and a big Christmas tree sticker on the wall. There's plastic holly and poinsettia and mistletoe. There's a three-foot candy cane that seems, worrisomely, to be real, with a ribbon of red, green, and gold plaid tied around it. And there's a banner that says, "Happy Thanksgiving," complete with a turkey in a stupid pilgrim hat.

"It was on clearance," Katya explains, waving her arms and pointing to make sure Alaska sees everything.

Then there are half a dozen pictures of Alaska on stage, and when Alaska gets closer she can see they have helpful notes like, "I was staring at your ass the whole time," and "You missed the high note," and "I'm stealing this wig in particular," and "Squeeze my boob, baby." And there's a brightly-wrapped nativity set that looks like--

"Is that _chocolate_?" Alaska asks.

"Dibs on baby Jesus!" Katya says in a rush.

It's all very crazy and very Katya, and Alaska tells her so. "It's a _disastah_ and it's so you I want to fuck it," she says.

Katya screams out a laugh and wheezes and manages to say, "I knew you would! I knew you would, that's why I brought extra condoms!"

"You're so good to me," Alaska says.

"I am, aren't I?" Katya smiles flirtatiously. "Oh!" She holds up a hand to say stop. "Are you hungry? I have leftovers for you! And pizza!"

"The traditional Christmas pizza?"

"It's got lots of vegetables on it. It's like a cooked salad with cheese! Well, half of it has cheese."

"That sounds a lot worse than it probably tastes," Alaska says.

Katya bounces over to the mini-fridge. In the middle of opening it, she looks back and says, "Oh! I only had salad for dinner! And fruit for breakfast!"

"Did you now?" Alaska asks.

"I did," Katya says as if she's talking dirty.

Alaska laughs, and Katya piles her arms full of tupperware and a pizza box.

<><><>

After pizza (Katya scrapes the cheeseless vegetables off the top and makes sure Alaska's watching), and potatoes and squash and peas, they settle down to watch _Santa Claus Conquers the Martians_. They're only a few minutes in when Alaska, yawning, lays her head on Katya's shoulder.

She sighs happily when Katya pets her thigh, and Katya can tell how tired she is by the way she's holding herself, melting into Katya's side.

"Sleepy?" Katya asks.

"Mmm."

"Want to go to bed?" 

"Not if you're not."

Katya smiles. She loves sappy Alaska, and exhaustion brings out the sappiest Alaska.

The sofa they're sitting on looks almost long enough for Alaska to lie down, so Katya moves to the end. She coaxes Alaska to stretch out and put her head in in Katya's lap.

Alaska grumbles, but makes a happy sound when she's settled. Katya combs her fingers through Alaska's curls.

"Are we growing this out again, or have you just been too busy?" Katya asks.

"Too busy. But I've been tempted lately to shave it all off like yours." She finds Katya's spare hand and brings it to her chest. "Hey," she notices, holding it out again so she can see better, "your nails are did!" 

Katya flutters both hands to show them off. One is a a messy red, one a messy green, and just one thumb is a glittery white she got for $.49 at the mall. "Tell me how pretty they are," she says.

Alaska laughs. "They're very pretty."

"Really?"

"Actually it looks like a hack job you did because you were bored. But they're gorgeous, because they're on you."

Katya squeals and goes back to playing with Alaska's hair. 

It doesn't take long for Katya to get bored with the movie and start yawning herself, and Alaska's already sound asleep. She's curled up and snoring a little and she looks too comfortable to move, but they'll both regret it if she doesn't.

"Wake up, bitch," Katya says. "Time for bed."

Alaska mumbles, "I'll just stay here."

"No, you won't. It'll kill your back."

"All downhill after thirty," Alaska says, as Katya leads her by the hand into the other room.

<><><>

Alaska's dreaming, but she's also aware of Katya getting out of bed and returning, slightly damp, and it seems like a new dream and a long time before the nose-licking starts.

"Wake up!" Katya's saying. Lick. "Wake up!" Lick, lick. "Wake uuuuuup."

Alaska fights a sneeze and opens one eye. "This again," she says as she sees that it's still dark in the room. She not-so-secretly loves her Katya-shaped alarm clock, but she'll complain about it until she dies. "What is wrong with you?"

Katya licks her nose again. "Wake uuuuuuup."

"I'm going to tell your parents you're defective."

"They won't take me back. They won't take me back! You've already opened my box!"

"Damn," Alaska says, smiling. "I'm stuck with you."

"You are!" Another lick. "Wake up! It's Christmas!"

"Nobody over the age of ten is awake yet, Kati."

"But I wanted to give you a chance to play with your present before we have to leave," Katya says.

Alaska's suspicious, but she grins anyway. "You got me a present?"

"Of course I got you presents, you idiot. But I really need to give you this one in private." She starts lifting the covers.

"Oh, no, you didn't," Alaska says, covering her eyes.

"I did!" Katya says. She grabs the hand Alaska has over her eyes and drags it down to her dick, which is decked out in the same red, green, and gold ribbon as the giant candy cane.

Alaska pulls her hand back. "I can't believe you," she says fondly.

"You don't like it?" Katya shifts so she can press the ribbon against Alaska's bare stomach. It tickles.

"I'll like it after the sun comes up," Alaska says, pretending to turn away.

Katya stops her and starts poking. "Al." Poke. "Al." Poke. "Al. How are you going to write me a thank you note if you don't at least see if it works?"

Alaska can't fake it anymore. She gives in and cracks up. 

"I win!" Katya says.

"Always. But I haven't read the directions yet. I don't even know how to turn it on."

"I'll download the PDF for you later." 

_(On New Year's Eve, once Alaska's back on the road, she'll get a text with a detailed diagram and directions written in Katya's handwriting, and it will make her day. And she'll write a very dirty thank you note in response.)_

Alaska laughs and stretches out on her back, pulling Katya on top of her and squeezing her ass. "Sooo," she says, "I'm getting the feeling you want me to fuck you."

Katya gasps as if she hasn't been dropping hints for two days. "How did you know?" 

"Women's intuition," Alaska says.

"I'm in your head, baby." She squirms and smirks and says demurely, "I mean, if you're feeling it today."

"Like you need to ask," Alaska says. "I'm just going to clean up a bit first, okay?" As she walks away, she hears Katya jump up and start rifling through plastic shopping bags, and decides she's not going to ask.

She's glad she didn't, when she returns a few minutes later. Katya's not looking her way, so Alaska takes a step back to watch quietly. There's obviously a surprise coming, and she doesn't want to ruin it.

Katya's bent over, ass in the air, muttering to herself as she yanks a Santa hat out of one bag, and goes back to searching all the others. "Aha!" she says as she pulls out reindeer antlers and a wrapped box that's just the right size for what Alaska thinks--knows--is in it.

Alaska grins helplessly. She loves this lunatic so much. She ducks further back as Katya turns towards the bed, so it really is a surprise when she finally reveals herself. 

Katya's laid out on her side, arm raised with a flourish. The Santa hat is on her head, and something suspiciously shaped is underneath it. "Merry Christmas!" she says, and points to her ribbon-wrapped dick.

"Maybe I don't need directions after all," Alaska says. She steps to the edge of the bed, and Katya kneels in front of her on the mattress.

"Take it off!" Katya says. "Take it off, take it off!"

"What? My underwear?" Alaska asks, playing along.

"That too. But no!" She gestures at the hat. "This, this, this!"

Alaska does, and pretends to be surprised at the fuzzy antlers. "A shocking reveal!" she says.

Katya grabs the hat and stands up to put it on Alaska's head. "Hi Santa," she says. "Do you want to see my shiny red ass? I can light up _your_ sleigh."

"Ruining my entire fucking childhood," Alaska says. 

Katya wheezes out a long laugh and stomps her feet, very pleased with herself, so Alaska strips off her last bit of clothing, pushes Katya backwards onto the bed, and climbs on top of her. Then she kisses Katya madly, before Katya can say anything.

They both moan happily into the kiss, and Katya opens her legs so Alaska can slide in between them.

"Oh, my God, that thing is going to drive me crazy," Alaska says, pulling back while Katya laughs at her.

"You don't like your present?"

"This fucking ribbon." Alaska tugs at it as she kneels between Katya's legs. "It's itchy as hell. How are you wearing it?"

"I suffer for looooove," Katya says.

Cackling, Alaska tosses the thing aside, and lets Katya pull her head down to continue the kissing. But she's got other ideas, so she starts moving south, to kiss Katya's neck, her clavicle, her sternum, while Katya squirms beneath her. She follows the happy trail straight down, tugging on a few short hairs with her teeth, and skips right over Katya's dick.

"You complete cunt," Katya complains, and thrusts her hips up to emphasize where she wants Alaska's tongue. But Alaska shuts her up by sucking one of Katya's balls into her mouth.

She hums a random little tune, knowing the vibrations will drive Katya crazy, sucks in both balls, and smiles when she feels Katya's hand land gently on her head.

"Up or down?" Alaska asks. When she gets no answer, she tries again. "Kataya. Up or down?"

"Oh, God, _both_."

"No," Alaska says, and licks just below the scrotum. "You have to choose."

Katya groans and hesitates for a moment before yanking her legs up and out ot the way.

"Good choice." But Alaska doesn't move, waiting for Katya to beg, which she does. Kind of.

"What the fuck," she says, tugging at Alaska's hair. "Why isn't your tongue in my sphincter yet?"

Alaska laughs and traces a line with her tongue and laps at Katya's hole just once.

"Oh, my God, fuck you," Katya says.

"Always in such a hurry," Alaska says before she starts licking again. She circles and tongues and strokes and gets lost there for a while, listening to all the delicious sounds Katya's making. Eventually she asks, "Is this enough? Fingers?"

Katya takes a minute to reply. Finally she tugs at Alaska's curls again. "Put," she says breathlessly. "I need. Mouth."

Alaska keeps her own mouth right where it is and holds up a hand for Katya to suck, and Katya does, hungrily. She shudders as she catches Alaska's fingers between her lips, and Alaska shudders as Katya bites down.

It's painless, but Alaska says, "Ow, fuck," anyway, to make Katya laugh. Then she raises her head for a few moments, watching Katya blissfully slurp on her fingers. Her eyes are closed, she's breathing hard, and she doesn't even seem to notice that Alaska's stopped.

Blissful Katya, anxiety free and living only in the moment, is always one of the most erotic things Alaska's ever seen, reindeer antlers or not. She shifts her weight so she can wrap her free hand around her own dick, and licks up all the precum on Katya's. Then she focuses back on Katya's ass until Katya writhes and lets go of Alaska's fingers to suck in a breath. Alaska uses those fingers to circle Alaska's hole, and the change in sensation makes Katya's eyes snap open.

Laughing, Alaska sits up and asks, "So how are we doing this?"

"You _do_ need directions," Katya says.

"Let me rephrase. How exactly would you like my member inserted into your rectum?"

"I don't care as long as it's inserted." But then her eyes get wide and she says, "No! I do care! Lap sex!" She pushes herself up. "Come here! Sit here!"

Alaska goes happily and lets Katya arange her however she wants. She ends up sitting against the headboard, with crossed legs. Katya reaches over her to get the lube and a condom, hands them both to Alaska, and watches Alaska unroll the latex.

There's a filthy look on Katya's face as she sing-songs, "I want to see your eyes, and I want burning thighs."

"And I am happy to oblige," Alaska says.

"Always writing lyrics," Katya teases. She holds her hand out for some lube and Alaska lets it dribble into her palm.

Then they're both slicked up and Katya's straddling, then squatting over Alaska's hips, one hand on Alaska's shoulder and one between their bodies. Katya lowers herself slowly, making Alaska hiss at the tight heat. She meets Katya's eyes and smiles, and Katya grins back at her.

"Nice," Alaska says

Katya closes her eyes and sighs. She starts riding Alaska but stops quickly, her nose wrinkling up.

"Okay?" Alaska asks immediately. "More lube?"

"Mmm."

Alaska finds it and hands it over, and a few seconds later Katya's smiling again as she slides down and sits unmoving on Alaska's dick. She cradles Alaska's face in her hands and kisses her, and kisses her again.

They melt and fuse and grind together, slowly, with Katya's dick trapped between them, until Alaska can hardly stand it. She wriggles a little, moaning into Katya's mouth, and when that doesn't work, she runs her fingers lightly down Katya's chest, tickling. 

Katya laughs helplessly, and Alaska shoves her back far enough to grab her dick.

"Oh, fuck," Katya says. "Fuck yes." She raises herself up, finally, and Alaska takes a deep breath as she slams back down. 

Alaska tightens her grip and all at once they're both frantic, giving and taking, grunting and groaning and shivering, and she struggles to keep her eyes on Katya's face. She wants to remember _everything_.

"Yes," Katya says. "Yes yes." Then, "No," as she shoves Alaska's hand aside to pump her own dick.

The pressure in Alaska's groin is almost unbearable. "Thighs burning yet?" she asks.

"I didn't even notice!" Katya stills halfway down. "Fuck, fuck, ow, fuck." But she starts up again anyway, and says, "Ow, ow, ow."

"Want to lie down?" Alaska lays her hands on Katya's hips and puts some more effort into thrusting, to give Katya a break, but Katya just keeps saying, "Ow!"

It's adorable and funny and hot and Alaska's so ready. She can hardly hold it in and she pushes up hard, to let Katya know.

Katya moans out a long, "Aaah," and softly touches Alaska's jaw. "Come first," she says.

Alaska does, easily and breathlessly, her eyes glued to Katya's. She watches Katya jerk off for a few seconds, then lowers her head just enough to bite one of Katya's nipples. 

Then Katya's groaning and the heat of her orgasm hits Alaska's stomach. She looks down to watch Katya milk out the last drops and groans at how beautiful it is.

"You're," Alaska starts, meaning to say something sweet and infatuated. "You're so-" But she can't finish, and she ends up smiling stupidly at Katya instead.

"No, _you're_ ," Katya says.

Alaska drags her gaze upwards, and remembers what Katya's wearing. "You're a fucking reindeer."

"Thank you, Santa," Katya says.

"I really enjoyed my present, Rudolph."

"Oh, good," Katya says. "I looked _everywhere_."

Chuckling, Alaska nudges her aside so she can tie off the condom and toss it on the nightstand. She lies down and stretches out and asks, "What time did you tell them we'd be there?"

"Eleven or twelve," Katya says, yawning. She shuffles around and ends up on her back with her head at the foot of the bed, and snuggles up to Alaska's calf.

Alaska kisses her toes. "So we can sleep a bit more?"

"I love that idea," Katya says. 

Figuring Katya's too worn out to move, Alaska hands her a pillow and tugs out the sheet and blanket so she can join Katya at the other end of the bed. She wraps the covers tightly around them both.

"Oh, I forgot to give you part two of your sexy present," Katya says sleepily.

"It'll still be there."

"It might come to life! You never know." She yawns again, and Alaska feels the exhale on the back of her neck. "Shit, I just gave it away, didn't I?"

Alaska yawns, too. "I didn't hear a thing," she says, and clutches Katya's hand to her chest.

<><><>

Katya wakes to the sound of the shower. She stretches, looks at the clock, and smiles when she sees the Santa hat perched on top of the bedside lamp. 

Her head is throbbing, though, for some reason. "Ouch," she says to herself. "Why?" 

Because she fell asleep with the reindeer headband on, that's why.

She takes it off and throws it in the direction of the shopping bags, then shuffles into the bathroom to pee and brush her teeth. "Good morning again!" she says to the dark shape behind the curtain.

"You're up!" Alaska peeks her head out and says, "Morning, Rudolph!" Then she hides again, laughing, as Katya tries to pinch her nose.

By the time Katya's done with her own shower, emerging with a towel around her waist, Alaska looks ready to go. She's sitting in a chair with her legs curled up, reading a book, and she's got Whitney Houston's Christmas album playing on her phone.

"You're dressed already," Katya complains.

"You're not," Alaska says.

Katya flings off the towel with flair and jazz hands. Alaska whistles, which is exactly what Katya knew she would do. Then Alaska tosses her a wrapped box that Katya barely catches. Katya's spent a lot of time teasing Alaska about her aim.

"Sexy present?" she says excitedly.

"Sexy present," Alaska says. "Where's my part two? Does it involve you staying naked?"

"That's part three, and it's for later," Katya says. She looks for the gift she got out last night and forgot. Finding it on the floor by the bed, she hands it delicately to Alaska, because Alaska can't catch, either.

"Bitch," Alaska says fondly. "Now?"

"Now!"

Laughing at each other, they both rip into their packages. Katya buys Alaska a different version of the same present every year, but she never knows exactly what Alaska will buy for her.

"I knew it!" Alaska says when she sees the plug, which is a heavy and very pretty glass snowman. "It's gorgeous. Where do you keep finding these things?"

"I don't. They find _me_." Admittedly she had to look in every sex shop in Amsterdam before this one found her. "Oh! I'm wearing these today!"

"All of them?"

"Maybe just one." The clear box is labeled "Gay Apparel," and she holds up each Christmas-colored thong in turn, reading out things like, "Fuck Me, Santa" and "Sugar Plum Fairy" and "Taste These Christmas Balls."

"Which one?" she asks Alaska, and holds them all up a second time.

"This Candy Cane Won't Lick Itself," Alaska decides.

Katya smirks at her and puts it on. She strikes a few poses, and Alaska whistles again.

"Are you going to wear that?" Katya asks, pointing at the plug.

"You're funny," Alaska says. "I'll starve myself if you starve yourself."

"Fuck, I _am_ starving," Katya suddenly realizes. "Can I have chocolate Jesus?"

Alaska reaches for it, and Katya realizes something else.

"You already ate a wise man!"

"And he was deliciousssss," Alaska says, stretching out the S, as she hands over the smallest piece.

"No fair! He's three times as big!"

Alaska grabs Mary and hands her over, too.

"Why am I the one that's going to hell?" Katya asks. 

"I'll be right there with you," Alaska says. And she starts unwrapping Joseph.

<><><>

A little while later they're both by the door, about to leave with their two big bags of presents, when Katya puts a hand on Alaska's arm. "Wait."

Alaska smiles softly at her. "You don't have to say it, sweetie."

"But I'm going to, and you know I'm going to, and you'd be disappointed if I didn't."

"The first two are true," Alaska says. "The third one not so much."

"Shut up," Katya says, and leans in for a quick kiss. " _Thank you_ , yet again, for rescuing me from my destiny as the spinster uncle all the kids feel sorry for. And for continuing to let me show you off on holidays."

_("I used to go to all these family things, and I always knew I'd never have anyone to take with me," Katya had said, the first year they were officially together. "Nobody would ever want to put up with the crazy." Alaska had cried a little and kissed her and said, "I want all the crazy, all the time," then complained about ruining the eyeliner she wasn't wearing.)_

Katya adores her family; Alaska knows how much Katya adores her family. But Katya spent much longer thinking she was unloveable, and it still makes Alaska's heart hurt when she remembers. The Katya she first knew, barely knew, her coworker Katya, wanted love so badly but didn't know how or where to find it, and made up endless jokes about loneliness instead.

Blinking back tears, like she always does, Alaska says, "I'm the one showing you off. And I really love your vagina so freaking much."

Katya grins at her, joy overflowing in her eyes. "And I really love your pussy, you bitch."

They walk out the door hand in hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy winter, Happy New Year, and I really hope you liked it!


End file.
